Unseen and unheard;

 It was a showery evening, where breeze was fresh and ponderous.  I woke up hearing to the chirping of sparrows, which at that time seemed eccentric yet tempting…

© Shilpa Nagaraj

Initially couldn’t distinguish the sounds I heard, it dint even strike me do so. Just sat on the bed and went on listening. I was frozen, as most of us do soon after a cozy sleep. Articulation of any sort was blanked out. Just savoring the unfamiliar harmony…

© Shilpa Nagaraj

Suddenly I was awakened by my senses and all that glory lost its essence. Experience stayed only for a jiffy. As many thoughts were ready to attack me- Which birds were they? Want to see them!  Click pictures and it just went on… leaving just the traces of the experience.

I wished to go back to the glory of being beyond my own conscious sense. Wished to go back, though I knew I can’t. Now those teardrops of happiness have no significance, which are already being manipulated by words. Sometimes the real splendor of being is experienced only for a jiffy, anything after that is just an articulation or glorification. 

Many of us are pre-occupied by other things that we fail to recognize these moments. In the race to gain wisdom through language we are ignoring something called body wisdom. A knowledge which is acquired through senses or beyond senses, which for me seems very exciting. Most of the lessons we learn can be recognized as body wisdom.

Let’s embrace this in order to widen our horizon.

“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”

~ Ralph Hodgson,

Silent reflection...

When silence in me was provoked,

Heard its echoes in this small creature... 

An ant was walking on a window sill on a rainy evening..

It seemed as if it walked for miles, in search of clarity.

Outer world was blurred but the moist surface helped in slowing down.

Though it tried hard it couldn’t erase the haziness

Climbed up but soon it fell down.

When it got up

It did something which never strike its mind before.

Started exploring the other side of the world

A world which offered endless opportunities,

It could slide over a jam bottle, irritate humans

By going a ride on elongated water tap

And suck the remains of water melon juice…

It could actually experience the joy of living!

Yet it dint forget about the outer world,

A world where the path appeared impossible to walk…

‘It had a curiosity, not expectations’.

Went back by wearing the mask of curiosity

And explored that the widow was slightly open

Finally it slicked out and was drenched by the down pour!  

It’s the world of being, where each moment gives us something more to explore,

Let us not manipulate it by expecting!

Breeze and me!

Sitting on an easy chair in the balcony and  was wondering, what if I could converse with breeze?

Like a soothing music which is making me comfortable to feel its presence…

Me: (though I knew the answer) asked

 Who are you?

Breeze: I’m just what you call as, breeze.

I wasn’t convinced by its answer. So!

Me: What does the phrase “what YOU call as” mean?

Aren’t you what we call you? Are you?

 Couldn’t feel its presence for a while.  After few seconds…  

Breeze: yes, I’m not what “you” call me. 

Was awestruck for a jiffy!

Me: But why?  

Breeze: Coz I’m just me! No name can define who I am.

The way I’m free to move around, I even have the freedom to be just me. Nothing attached to it. "Sometimes, name creates limitations".

Before it vanished… in its sarcastic tone...

Breeze: Who are you?

My eyes wide open, confusion creeping in..

I dint know what to answer.

Supposedly the possible answers would be:

I’m Shilpa? I’m an energy body? A creation of the universe?  A human being?  A thing with flesh, skin and brain?  A combination of mind and soul? It can go on…

But all these answers can symbolize others also! So who am I??

 I’m. not what other's call me. Termed for the convenience? i guess. 

I believe, the quest is endless... In the path of glory one has to find his/her own self.

As it’s truly pleasing to be an explorer! 

Desire and a proposal…

Long time ago, he had a dream in his eyes of becoming a person what he desired to be. He absolutely believed in it. He dint judge his desire. He went on dreaming, thinking only about his desire. He rejoiced his dreams though it’s still just a dream which isn’t realized. But when he woke up, as the feeling of delight won’t endure longer, he started questioning his own dreams. As he knew, dreams before realization are just foolish desires. As he started questioning his thoughts multiplied. And gradually his desire invited fear. Fear slowly grew larger than his desire. He was struck in the conflict of believing between fear and desire. He knew nothing about the solution. He was experiencing the state of utter bewilderment. After analyzing all the possibilities, he did what his intellect said: he killed himself.



photo courtesy: google images

Why did he kill himself? What was his desire?  And what was his fear? What did he forget, which made him take such a ruthless decision? His desire was just as simple as color white. Genuine. He desired to “live”, by existing on the terms laid by his heart but he feared society. He wanted to live as an awakened being. He dint wait for the approval and committed a brutal act.

This narrative depicts the state of people who kill themselves. Especially developing countries like, India has been hit by this dangerous disease called “suicide”. It’s shocking to know that in India more than 14 people kill themselves per hour. And the city where I reside, Bangaluru has been recorded highest suicide rate and it’s termed as suicide capital of India again. It’s alarming. Reasons may vary but the final outcome is terrifying. Many have been debated about this topic and yet to find a solution and I don’t want to play the same record. 

So what is that new thing which must be adopted to reduce suicide rate?

Here is a small proposal towards the betterment of our country. Why can’t Government of India start calculating GNH (gross national happiness) along with GDP (gross domestic product)? Because, “it’s always the statistics is what makes us aware about the intensity of the problem”. The concern which is shown towards the economy of the country must be escorted with the wellness of people.

 (To know what Gross national happiness is, watch this video)

 “When people refuse to remember the most important thing, I.e. “hope”, everything else becomes void. A person who believes in “hope” and “waiting” can conquer the things he desire”

“May this bring joy, happiness and an urge to live”

Strange society!

We live in a world where,

Justice is denied;

Being hurt is glorified;

Time has become a reason to live;

Simple things are made complicated;

Nature is questioned for its existence;

Happiness is pretended;
Love is conditioned;

Truth is shattered;

Interests are manipulated;

Conclusions are biased;

Seen things are turned down;

Understanding is just taking initiative;

Slowness is disregarded;

Artificial beauty is admired;

Abilities are judged through grades;

Seclusion seems impossible;
Relationships are just accorded names;

Innocence is damned;

Listening is tagged with situation;

Not knowing is treated as sin;

Conflicts are termed as challenges;

Money is something supreme;

Ego is called as “the attitude”;

Ambitious people are ones who compete with ‘others’;

Accepting is nothing but compromising;

Introspection results in discontent;  

Ignorance is misinterpreted as laziness;

Respect is assumed;

Photo courtesy: Google images 

So?!

Well, these are the things which I’ve observed and of course most of them I’ve experienced. I cannot conclude saying all these are wrong, coz I don’t know what’s precise. But just reflect on these thoughts, and try to analyze how we are actually living. Seems like, we are messed up following things which doesn’t serve any purpose. We are not what we are!

There’s a “little voice” within us, which constantly reminds about peace (inner peace). We disapprove this “Little voice” and suppress it . Ultimately, we are ones who suffer.

Why? Why aren’t we allowing it to speak? Scared? Grown up? Think about it.

“Let yourself go”

~ Zindagi na milegi dobara (movie)

Thanks a lot for reading . 

Photo courtesy: Google images 

Change; often misinterpreted aspect...

Changing time;

Dude move on, people change;

Change yourself;

grrr! I hate u coz u’ve changed;

Don’t change, u idiot;

Accept changes;

omg! She is not the same person;

These are the few phrases we usually bump into. Nevertheless approach towards change has never changed. Do we really know the exact meaning of change? Are we still conservative in our approach towards “change”? Why do we hesitate to change? Do we really understand the reason behind change? Why don’t we accept the fact that each one of us change? Why acceptance is not that easy? Why do we expect things or people to be same always? Why do we often blame a person for changing?  Reflect on these questions, it leaves you puzzled for a while. 

So, if there are questions, there must be answers though at times it doesn’t make any sense. I’ve tried to reflect on these questions, and here is my reflection. Change is defiantly necessary, and it’s a natural phenomena. All of us change but in different fashions. We change and it ought to be accepted. Some personality traits may remain unchanged but we certainly learn many things which alter us as a being. We change because we are in a process of learning and we all agree that “we are not perfect” so in the quest to become perfect, we change!

We’ve cultivated a habit of blaming people and things around us, for changing. Why so? Do we expect them to remain unchanged throughout their life? No. we don’t. It seems we are not clear about the things we want; we keep altering them according to our own moods and desires. In turn we expect them to adjust to our modification. This surly creates a chaos in a relationship. It’s like, we don’t want our friends to change but expect our parents to accept changes and adapt certain values to understand present generation. We always want people to be as we wish them to be, which is foolish and ultimately we are one who suffer.

 We need to be little modest and accept our changes and respect the changes in others. Change can be negative or positive; it depends on the person’s mentality and the way his thought process work. We live only our life not other’s, we don’t have any authority to question them for being so. We expect a lot from others which in turn becomes hard for us to accept other’s changes. Just let go. Change when you want to and allow others to change. Change is a blissful experience, each day is new coz we are new each day.